Anna Wineheart Books

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Huxton’s Special Mission

“Pups,” Huxton said very solemnly one morning. “I have an urgent mission for all of you.”

Five sets of ears pricked up.

“Mission?” nine-year-old Bonny said, her eyes bright. She looked more like Emre, while her twin, Mel, looked more like Zenith.

Huxton leaned in and whispered dramatically, “It’s for your dads.”

Now all of them were thrice as excited.

“What is it?” Abbie said, leaning in too.

With a flourish, Huxton produced a sheath of colorful papers. “These blessings will strengthen your parents’ bonding for many years to come. All you have to do is fold them into as tiny a shape as you can, tuck them into a place where your dads will find them. But not easily. They have to be surprised!”

If Huxton had given this task to an adult who was new to their household, the adult would be wary.

But the pups had been growing up around Huxton, and they associated Huxton with the mansion’s safety. (This would be correct, since Huxton’s sharp hearing provided them with an early detection system.)

“Can we hide these in their shoes?” twelve-year-old Petey asked as Huxton distributed the spell sheets—five to each pup.

“What about their pockets?” twelve-year-old Bean asked.

“Or in the bathroom lamp?” Abbie said.

Huxton shook his finger at them. “Anything goes, unless you get hurt. If you hurt yourselves, your dads will kill me, and there will be no prize. So don’t do anything dangerous.”

“Awww,” the pups said. Huxton wasn’t sure if they were more upset about the forfeited prize, their dads killing him, or the restriction on dangerous activities.

It was probably the prize.

He cleared his throat. “So, the prize. It’ll go to whoever hides theirs in the most creative place.”

He produced a shiny, sparkling wrapped present from his pocket.

All five pups leaned forward, eager now, noses twitching.

“Remember the rules? Fold the spells as small as you can, hide them where your dads will find them, somewhere they don’t expect to. No hurting yourselves!” Huxton looked them all in the eye. When he was satisfied that they understood his instructions, he made a shooing motion. “Go!”

All of them scampered away; Abbie, Bean, and Petey in different directions, Mel and Bonnie staying behind to whisper together.

When Mel and Bonnie glanced sideways at Huxton, he winked at them.

Huxton gave them an hour.

At one point, Zenith threw open the bedroom window and frowned down at Huxton. “The hell are you doing, Hux?”

Hux shrugged innocently. “I did nothing.”

“You did something,” Zenith said suspiciously. “I hear little feet everywhere.”

“Those are not my feet. I don’t know what they’re doing.”

Zenith flipped him off and shut the window.

The pups were back in thirty minutes, after a lot of scampering and ducking around. They grinned and nudged each other, looking so delighted that Huxton couldn’t help but smile.

“Well?” he asked.

“Under their bed!” Bonnie said, swinging Mel’s hand. “And Mel put one each in their pillows.”

“I stuffed one into the car, in the crack of the driver’s seat,” Petey said.

“In their underwear drawer.” Abbie snickered.

“I hid mine in their toilet,” Bean whispered. “With sticky tape.”

“Excellent,” Huxton crowed. “You all did great.” He pulled out the shiny present, their eager gazes following it. Then he pulled out four more of the same boxes, and all the pups broke into excited chattering.

“Hux is the best,” Petey cried, launching himself at Huxton’s waist.

“Of course I am,” Huxton said. He handed out the presents. “Good work, all of you.”

“What did I say?” Zenith yelled from elsewhere. “Hux, you son of a—”

The pups all held their breath, waiting eagerly for their Papa to slip up.

Zenith caught himself. “Son of a caterwauling cat poop!”

The pups snickered. So did Huxton.

“You know you love me, Scribbly Master,” he sang. “Now, shoo, pups. You were not here. None of us know anything.”

“I don’t believe you!” Zenith yelled.

***

Zenith had barely flushed the toilet when it began to sing. Terribly.

”Once upon a time, when your heart was a wriggly tentacle, I wrapped it around mine and together, we had two squirming tentacles.”

In the bathroom doorway, Emre snickered. “What’s it doing? Why is it singing you pickup lines? Is it trying to pick you up?”

Zenith narrowed his eyes. Nothing looked different about the toilet. Had Huxton sneaked in sometime to—

No, wait.

It was the pups.

Huxton had bribed the pups to do something, and this was it.

“Hux,” Zenith growled.

“La la la,” Huxton sang. “Are you enjoying your night?”

“I am,” Emre said, amused. “Is the toilet going to sing again?”

“Maaaybe,” came the reply.

“It better not,” Zenith said dryly.

Emre linked his arm with Zenith’s and tugged him over to their bed. It had been over a decade now—twelve years—and still Zenith loved every moment Emre spent with him.

“Hush about the toilet,” Emre said, his lips tugging into a grin. “Let’s—”

The moment Emre sat on the edge of the mattress, the bed began to sing.

“Starry night, love rods standing upright. The power of my love is so tall and strong, it makes my cucumber grow so long!”

Emre buried his face in his hands. “Oh gods.”

Zenith coughed, laughing. “Fuck. That’s all there is to it, right? First the toilet, then the bed? Where else would you possibly need to be courted?”

He hefted Emre onto his pillow—

And the pillow began to sing, too.

“Worship me, marry me, use your tongue to prove to me, that you love my cucumber!”

“Hux,” Zenith huffed.

“Not me,” Huxton sang.

“It was your idea!”

“It’s like the mansion is coming alive to sing pickup lines at us,” Emre groaned, the pillow crooning into his ear.

“I’m not sleeping with the mansion,” Zenith said flatly.

Emre grinned. “Oh? You don’t want to grind against the wall and fill the—the doorway with cum? Bang the doors and pound some nails?”

Zenith gave his omega a betrayed look. “That was terrible.”

“You love me anyway.”

Zenith laughed. “Yes, I do.”

He got into bed and lay down next to Emre.

The moment his head touched his pillow, the pillow began singing, too.

“One, two, three, four, I opened my heart but my body can take more. Five, six, seven, eight, our love swords will become mates.”

Zenith buried his face in his hands. “What the hell is happening?”

“The mansion is seducing you,” Huxton cackled. “Do you feel… the temptation?”

“Is it trying to tickle our wood?” Emre giggled.

“I will politely decline its attempts,” Zenith muttered. He switched off the lights and wrapped himself around his mate.

Hopefully, this would not follow them into their dreams.

***

The next morning, when Zenith opened his underwear drawer, sparks exploded everywhere.

They landed harmlessly on his clothes, but the singing was unmistakable.

“I lay my tentacle on you, it’s all it’s born to do. Every time it wriggles, you will feel me too. You opened up yourself, and showed me all the holes that need fillingggg. And I lay my tentacle, my obstacle, my peentacle on you.”

Zenith stared, speechless, at the sparkles left behind on every pair of underwear he owned. “That was truly horrendous.”

“You still have a few more surprises,” Huxton purred.

“They are so bad,” Emre agreed, snickering. “But Zenith has sparkles in his hair and it’s a good look on him.”

Rooms away, the pups shrieked. Little feet pounded all over the floor. Soft whooshing sounds filled the air.

“What did you do, Hux?” Zenith said slowly.

“I provided the pups with some entertainment,” Huxton said innocently. “It will help to improve their aim.”

“Their aim? With what?” Zenith yelped.

Even Emre looked wary now.

“Don’t worry, it’s plastic. Plunger-tipped toy darts. That you fire with a plastic gun,” Huxton said. “I think it’s a great idea to have your own little army of baby ninjas. Who are also armed with pickup lines.”

Zenith looked helplessly at Emre. Emre rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“I like the idea of them being able to defend themselves,” Emre said. “Not with pickup lines! But we could give them emergency paper spells, the kind Uriel makes. Those could come in handy.”

Zenith pulled Emre against him and flopped them both into bed. Then he sighed. “How did pickup lines become self-defense training for our pups?”

“I have the best vision of all,” Huxton said solemnly.

Then the bed shuddered beneath them, and pink disco lights lit up throughout the bedroom. Another pickup line song started up around them.

“Huxton,” Zenith bellowed.

“That’s not the name you should be calling out in bed,” Huxton said.

Emre buried his face in Zenith’s chest, and laughed.

***

Need more books to read? Here are Zenith’s brother’s books:

– Griff (How to Hide Your Mermaid Child)

– Blade (How to Hide Your Stolen Baby)

– Ace (The Accidental Dragon Baby)

– Raptor (Alpha Dragon’s Mating Contract)