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Deleted scene – The Twin Buns Butt Extraction
Previously, in Alpha Boss’ Baby Service:
“Actually, you should visit the bakery,” Mathlin blurted. “Right now, it looks like the inside of someone’s asshole.”
Ottis and Gav stopped dead in their tracks. Titan groaned. Hamilton cackled.
“What?” Ottis said faintly, turning back.
Mathlin nodded. “You know how your inner walls are rippled and pink? The bakery looks exactly like that. I’m surprised the customers haven’t commented on it yet.”
“Please don’t tell them,” Titan said. “They won’t be able to unsee it. Actually, Gav, maybe you or Crush could come over and help me take down those curtains? They really need to go.”
“They’re pink satin sheets,” Mathlin explained. “They really give Twin Buns the cheesy love tunnel vibe. Wait. Do you think love tunnels are named after the fuck holes in people’s bodies? They’re wet. You literally sit in a boat in the love tunnel; that’s how wet they are. And they’re dark inside, too. You have to feel around if you want to find anything in there.”
Titan winced. “Math, you know I lo—like your words, but… could you avoid discussing sex with my siblings? In front of me, anyway.”
Gavric snickered. “Yeah, we gotta see this.”
“We gotta bring witnesses,” Ottis added.
“Please don’t,” Titan groaned.
“Crush should visit with his new omega, really soak in those love tunnel vibes,” Gav said. “Maybe Twin Buns will inspire them to make more pups.” Cheerfully, Gav linked his arm with Ottis’, walking with him out of the cabin.
What happened next:
Four alphas showed up to help Titan take down his ass-curtains.
He gaped at them. “This is, at most, a two-alpha job. There aren’t that many curtains to remove.”
Already, Crush and Gavric were smirking, peering past him to the interior of the bakery.
“I see what Mathlin meant,” Crush said with a laugh. “Those rippling pink walls.”
“Very much a slumber party vibe,” Vigil agreed.
Gavric snickered. “‘Slumber’ party, ha!”
Their omega brother, Ottis, shook his head in disbelief. “This is even worse than I expected.”
Titan groaned. “Please just get those curtains off the walls, ASAP.”
“This is definitely a book idea,” Zenith said. Titan didn’t even know what Zenith was doing here; he was an alpha dragon and they hadn’t really talked much outside of the group chats they were both in.
“No, don’t get distracted by another idea,” Crush said.
Zenith stepped closer to Crush, slipping something shiny into his hand. A flash drive?
They didn’t even look at each other. Zenith brushed past Crush to follow Gav and Vigil into the bakery.
Huh.
Crush handed the flash drive to his omega, Killian, who tucked it into his pocket.
Inside, the alphas looked around the place in shock and awe. “Who did this interior decorating?” Gavric asked.
“Meeee!” Hamilton crowed, dancing onto the sales floor. “Isn’t it genius?”
“It’s horrifying like a train wreck,” Vigil said, but he hadn’t torn his gaze away from the shiny pink ripples.
“If you look closely, you’ll see pickup lines and pages of inspiring sex positions,” Hamilton said proudly.
Titan watched in horror as his brothers moved through the bakery appreciatively, touching the pink fabric and reading the printed pickup lines.
“We should take a picture,” Crush said suddenly. He paused in a hallway of pink satin. “This might be the only time you can fit five alphas into one ass.”
“Oh gods,” Titan groaned.
Gavric hooked his arm around Titan’s neck and dragged him over; Hamilton took several pictures of all the alphas squashed into the same pink hallway. Then Killian, Ottis, and Mathlin joined them, and Hamilton took a selfie with all of them framed by rippling pink walls.
“Best photo of the century,” Hamilton said, his fingers tapping rapidly into his phone. “I’m sending it to everybody.”
Titan wanted to burrow under the floorboards. “No one needs to see that crap.”
“Actually, Dad wants to,” Vigil said. “You can be sure that picture will be framed and hung on their wall the next time you visit.”
“Fuck,” Titan said more emphatically.
Eventually, the curtains were removed. Eventually. But not before everyone took selfies with them, and Gavric read some pickup lines to Hamilton, who pretended to swoon.
“I’m going to bring these curtains home,” Hamilton declared. “My walls shall be pink and rippling.”
“That’s too much information,” Mathlin blurted. “But now I have a terrible image of your butt in my head.”
Titan growled. Mathlin froze and whipped around to face him.
“Do you want your butt in my head instead?” Mathlin said, before looking horrified. “No, that sounds wrong. It should be your head in my butt, but I don’t think it’ll fit.”
Then he clutched his face and moaned.
“Math,” Titan said, trying not to laugh. “It’s okay. “Let’s just go home.”
“Ha!” Hamilton said. “Joke’s on you. I did up your cabin just like this one, so you’ll be inspired by all those pink walls.”
“What the fuck,” Titan said, scowling as his brothers snickered. “HAMILTON!”
***
Deleted scene – The Cucumber Jizz Rain Dance
Hamilton was preparing the most elaborate prank ever when Mathlin popped up next to him.
“Boo!”
“Ahh!” Hamilton flailed and pretended to be surprised. He had heard when Mathlin decided to approach him. “What’s the matter, Bread Consort?”
“I have a question,” Mathlin said. His belly was round with his third pup, and it was a miracle that Titan wasn’t hounding his every step. “Back when you first tried to hire me to help Titan.”
Ah, Hamilton remembered those good old days.
“You came to the pack grounds and yelled about needing help,” Mathlin said, his forehead scrunched. “But you were looking for someone to milk Titan, and literally everyone there is his family. They wouldn’t want to milk him, right? How were you expecting to find help?”
Hamilton smirked. “Most of the people there were his family, yes. But not all of them.”
Mathlin frowned, confused.
“I was looking for you,” Hamilton said.
“Me?”
“Yes. The pack liked you even at that point, and you were familiar enough to them—and to Titan—that he wouldn’t feel as awkward if you were to do the milking, instead of a complete stranger.”
“Oh.” Mathlin blinked. “So… so everything that happened after that, it was all thanks to you.”
Hamilton shrugged gracefully. “It was a series of events that came together. Not all of it is my doing.”
“Well, thanks anyway,” Mathlin said, flashing a quick smile. He and Titan were still quietly in love, building their little life together. Then Mathlin noticed the cucumber in Hamilton’s hands, and squinted. “What are you doing?”
“None of your business,” Hamilton said cheerfully. “Don’t you have pups to watch?”
Mathlin stared at him suspiciously. “I can’t tell if this is going to be more disruptive.”
“It’ll be fun,” Hamilton said.
“As long as no one gets hurt.” Mathlin waddled away, whining about his swollen feet.
Now that those keen eyes were gone, Hamilton sliced off the end of the cucumber gleefully. He used a drill to hollow out its insides. Then he drilled a tiny hole at its tip, and painted its head pink.
He did the same for the sixty-nine other cucumbers he’d hidden away before Mathlin showed up, before filling them all with thick cornstarch water and plugging them with plungers.
When he did a test plunge, the cucumber squirted beautifully.
He cackled and moved on to the next stage of his plan.
–
“I feel ugly again,” Mathlin mumbled.
Aw, shucks.
Hamilton had forgotten to account for that. But it was a little too late to charge into the cabin and freeze his perfect prank setup.
Besides, they didn’t even know he was listening in—the cabins were mostly soundproof, but not entirely. To a shapeshifter like Hamilton, the soundproofing spell might well have been entirely absent.
Anyway, he hung out near their cabin, listening to the events unfold.
“You’re beautiful to me no matter what shape you are,” Titan said. There came the sounds of rustling clothes, like he was hugging Mathlin, then the soft wet sounds of kissing. “Here, let’s dance a little.”
“I’m terrible at dancing,” Mathlin grumbled.
“Stand on my feet, sweetheart. Then you’ll just be following me wherever I move.”
“But my belly—!”
“Here, I’ll keep you steady.”
Music began to play.
Hamilton wasn’t sure how Mathlin was managing to keep his balance—maybe Titan had an arm around Mathlin’s shoulders to support him? They moved steadily through the living room, heavy thumps of Titan’s feet against the floorboards. Mathlin sighed and sounded happier.
“See, this is amazing. Dancing with you like this,” Titan murmured. “Holding the most beautiful person in the world.”
Mathlin’s pulse raced, loud in Hamilton’s ears.
It was going so well, too. If they could manage to avoid—
“Urk,” Titan said.
His footsteps faltered.
“Oh no,” Hamilton said, right as a chorus of high-pitched singing began.
He had planted a whole array of cucumbers on the living room ceiling, arranged in a square and camouflaged with a spell. When Titan’s head brushed the near-invisible string hanging down, he triggered the cucumbers and singing spells. Right now, the cucumbers were turning visible, angling down to shoot thick cornstarch jizz everywhere.
“Ugh!” Mathlin cried.
“What the fuck is this?” Titan yelped.
Okay, it was still kind of funny. Especially when the cucumbers began to sing The Song.
“Hard and wet, we jizz like mad
Love sticks and licks
It’s all for the dick
We bounce up and down
Get on your knees and go to town
For the cream of loooove!“
“That is terrible,” Mathlin said with such feeling.
Hamilton cackled and pressed his mouth to the crack in the front door. “Keep on dancing! It’s like dancing in the rain!”
“Dancing in jizz, maybe,” Titan growled. “Ham, what the fuck?”
“It’s romantic rain,” Hamilton said. “Hard vegetable juice. Then you can run a bath and wash it all off each other.”
Titan drew a slow breath.
“He’s… He’s right,” Mathlin said, a laugh bubbling out of him.
“Damn it!” Titan growled louder. “I wanted to be mad!”
“Don’t be mad, just be wet,” Hamilton said, snickering as he flounced off. The cucumbers would continue to sing and jizz for a while—an indoors kissing-in-the-rain experience.
It was a job well done.
***
Outtake – Mathlin Investigates Zenith’s Secret WIP
Mathlin: Psst, Killian
Mathlin: May I read the secret book project?
(some time passes)
Killian: What secret book project?
Mathlin: You know, the one Crush commissioned Zenith to write
Killian: …
Killian: How did you know about that?
Mathlin: I have detective skills!
Killian: … What gave it away?
Mathlin: Crush was being obvious about it
Mathlin: Plus, Titan saw Zenith passing him a flash drive
Mathlin: It’s not just any old book, but a very forbidden book
Killian: Dammit.
Killian: But it could be any forbidden book
Mathlin: Not if it’s about two star crossed lovers who shall not be named
(more time passes)
Killian: Crush never said anything about that
Mathlin: He didn’t, but Titan and I used our superior skills
Mathlin: D e t e c t i v e s k i l l s
Mathlin: Zenith’s being so secretive that it has to be a romance
Mathlin: But not just ANY romance. Crush is in on it too, and he’s keeping it a secret. Which means he has something to lose
Mathlin: Something like… (drumrollll) betting pool stakes
Killian: … Are you trying to blackmail us?
Mathlin: No! I just want to read the forbidden romance, whatever has been written (begging eyes emoji)
Mathlin: We swear that we won’t tell a single soul about it
Mathlin: We’ll even bring you magical brownies
Killian: … Fine. But you can’t have a copy of it. I’ll talk to Zenith, he might let you visit him to read it on his laptop
Killian: And you’ll have to bring him brownies too
Mathlin: YES
Mathlin: Omg thank you thank you this is so exciting
Mathlin: !!!!!!
Killian: If anyone asks, you know nothing
Mathlin: Yessir!!
***
Outtake – Ace & Raptor (the dragon alpha twins), past questionable deeds
(Warning for past consensual twincest)
Ace: So, the rainforest gods are not looking right now
Duke: Rainforest gods?
Ace: Never mind. Someone was asking if Raptor and I have fucked
Gavric: (chokes)
Gavric: Are you trying to kill me?
Ace: Well, no. I’ll move this to a different chat if you think we should keep this stuff away from your sensitive eyes
Duke: At this point, I don’t think we’re going to be shocked by much anymore
Duke: If anyone is offended, they can probably keep on scrolling and pretend they never saw it
Bruiser: I was the one who asked. Did you really…??
Raptor: Well, obviously we did. There’s only so many times you can watch twins on porn before you start asking yourself what that’s like. And who better to conduct research than myself, when I have an identical twin??
Titan: I can’t say I’ve ever thought about doing that with my own brothers
Ace: Shrug. We were curious. And since neither of us are bendy enough to do autofellatio, we made do with a 69
Crush: So… did you like it?
Raptor: It was fun, interesting. But we both prefer having an omega as a partner, so we didn’t do it much or often
Ace: That said, if our omegas wanted to watch us together, we’d do it again
Gavric: My brain feels like it’s been bent into a pretzel
Ace: (smirk) want some smelling salts?
Gavric: After what you did with the Yule Trees?? Eat my fucking shoe.
–
If you haven’t read Alpha Boss’ Baby Service, find it here: Alpha Boss’ Baby Service
If you’re curious about the side characters in Alpha Boss’ Baby Service, here are the books they’re from:
Ace & Ivo (The Accidental Dragon Baby):
https://mybook.to/AccidentalDragonBaby
Raptor & Walren (Alpha Dragon’s Mating Contract):
https://mybook.to/MatingContract
Telos & Mav (How to Rescue Your Surprise Baby):
https://mybook.to/RescueBaby
Crush & Killian (Guarded by His Alpha Wolf):
https://mybook.to/GuardedByAlphaWolf
(Preorder) Doc & Ottis (Alpha Dragon Steals A Mate):
https://mybook.to/DragonStealsMate