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The Pranked Anniversary
(In which the kids become Hubrie’s minions in his quest for evil)
–
“Psst,” Hubrie whispered when Nat and Duke were busy making eyes at each other. “Children! Minions! Baby Butlers!”
Mallie and Teddy bounced over to him. “Baby Butlers?”
“Yes!” Hubrie whispered secretively. “Want to do something exciting?”
It never took much to snag their interest; the siblings were always up for something fun, and they made the perfect minions—not that Duke realized it.
As one, they peeked at Duke and Nat, and back at Hubrie, nodding eagerly.
Hubrie left the dining table and gestured for them to follow. It was only when they were three rooms over, that Hubrie crouched in front of them.
“Here’s my plan,” he said. “In three days, it will be your dads’ getting-together anniversary. We are going to make them howl with surprise.”
Mallie crinkled her brow. “Why would they howl with surprise?”
“It will make them feel so young, they might burst with emotion.”
“That’s emotional damage!” Teddy said.
Hubrie snickered. “You, kid, have been watching too many internet videos.”
He brought them to a closet where he had hidden a sack full of supplies. At the very top was a roll of toilet paper, sticks of glue, and a whole bag of folded pink slips.
“Don’t look into the slips, they will hurt your young eyes,” Hubrie whispered. “Just unroll the toilet paper, glue them to every sheet, and roll it back up.”
He produced two more rolls of TP.
Mallie and Teddy’s eyes widened. “Why do we need so much TP?”
“Because these are the backup ones when they realize that their first roll is compromised.” Hubrie snickered.
The kids gaped. Then they snickered too.
Two hours later, Duke came looking for the kids. Hubrie hurriedly swept up all the slips of paper, and shoved them back into the Sack Of Mischief.
Duke poked his head into the room. “What’re you guys doing?”
“Nothing,” all three of them chorused, which only made Duke’s suspicion skyrocket.
Hubrie discreetly waved the kids out of the room. “You have been perfect all evening. I’ll talk to you again soon.”
Then he winked, and Teddy and Mallie giggled as they followed their dad out.
***
The next time they got together, all three of them stuffed little cardboard eggplants into every single pocket they could find in Nat and Duke’s walk-in closet.
They dusted the insides of the socks with Tingly-Feet Powder.
“Now, it’s very likely that your Papa might want to punish you for helping me,” Hubrie said, holding up one finger. “But because this was all my idea, I will take full responsibility where punishments are concerned. I’ll tell them it’s my fault.”
“Aw!” Mallie frowned, folding her arms. “But we helped too!”
“And they’re going to be very mad after this,” Hubrie said dryly. “If they were going to be happy about it, I would gladly give you the credit.”
“What if we make them happy after they get mad?” Teddy piped up. “Then we can give you the credit for that too! And they won’t be as mad with you.”
Hubrie laughed delightedly. “I’ll let you come up with that idea. But first, let’s proceed with the next step of our plan…”
***
Nat woke up in bed feeling extremely comfortable. Duke was wrapped around and buried inside him, sleeping soundly. They’d taken turns waking every few hours to feed Amelie; when they got back into bed, Duke would get himself just hard enough to push into Nat, and they would go back to sleep wrapped in each other.
“Nat,” Duke purred into his hair. He ran his warm hand up and down Nat’s front, reaching up to stroke Nat’s jaw. “Happy anniversary.”
Nat huffed, trying to hide his smile. “I’m not even facing you.”
“That’s okay. You still heard it anyway.” Duke pulled their bodies even closer together.
Except he made a quiet, confused sound, shifting slightly behind Nat.
“What is that?” Duke asked, confused.
Nat cracked his eyes open. There were… rose petals on the bed. Countless rose petals, a few inches deep. “What…?”
He reached out to touch the petals, only to find them all with little holes punched into them. Several petals had flame-shaped holes stamped into them, some had eggplant-shaped holes, and others had circles and crosses.
When he sat up carefully, Duke’s cock slipped out of him.
He wasn’t paying attention to that, though. Instead, his attention had been captured by the sea of hot pink glitter covering the bedroom floor. “Oh, gods.”
Nat leaned over the side of the bed to look more closely, petals spilling off the bed at his movement. Duke grabbed his ankles so he wouldn’t fall; the bed was too high up for Nat to touch the glitter. But he noticed that they weren’t just shaped like grains of sand.
No, the glitter were larger pieces, shaped like tiny dicks, each one outlined in white.
“Um, it looks like… someone tried to help us celebrate?” Nat said slowly.
Elsewhere in the mansion, someone cackled.
Duke groaned. “Shut up, Hubrie.”
Nat cringed when he realized that Hubrie must have stepped into their bedroom early this morning to ‘decorate’ their bed and floor.
“Ignore him,” Duke said, dragging Nat back into the circle of his arms. He slid his palms up and down Nat’s bare body, pressing damp kisses down the back of Nat’s neck.
Nat could feel Duke’s cock stirring, too. “Wait. Let me go to the bathroom first.”
“Sure.” Duke kissed his hair and released him.
More rose petals fell off the bed when Nat climbed down. He carefully made his way to the bathroom, several dick-shaped glitter pieces sticking to his feet. Then he sat down on the toilet, did his business, and froze when he reached for the TP.
The roll of toilet paper bulged with all the pink notes that had somehow slipped between each layer. When he attempted to tear off a few sheets, he realized that each sheet of TP had a pink note glued onto it.
Horror filled his stomach. “Um… Duke?”
“What is it?”
“I… need help with the TP.”
It wouldn’t have been that bad if he had only peed, but… Nat kind of really needed toilet paper to wipe. As he unraveled the TP, the pink slips magically opened up to reveal handwritten lines.
The secret to a good relationship is when your arms are love cucumbers and you use them to massage your partner’s butt.
To promote a good chi balance, an alpha and an omega should rub their oiled butts together in opposite directions. This will open up your asscheeks and let your inner core breathe.
Ready to spice up your sex life? Say ‘choo choo’ when you aim your love sausage into your omega’s hole. As you breach your omega’s entrance, continue with ‘chugga chugga’ like a train diving into the sacred mountain of your omega’s body.
It was like a train wreck he couldn’t look away from. Nat kept unrolling the TP only to find more and more terrible pickup lines.
Duke stepped into the bathroom and froze. He frowned at the TP. “What the Hell is wrong with that?”
“Um, I think they are pickup lines.”
Far away, Hubrie cackled.
“Fuck off, Hubrie,” Duke said. He went to the bathroom cabinet to grab the spare rolls… and drew a slow breath.
With mounting horror, Nat stared as Duke pulled out two pink-slip-filled rolls of toilet paper.
“This is all we have,” Duke said flatly. “Hubrie!”
“No!” Hubrie yelled.
Duke looked murderous for a second. Then he sat down on the floor, cross-legged, with dick-shaped glitter stuck to the soles of his feet, and began tearing the pickup lines off the TP. “These are still usable,” he muttered. “If a little ripped.”
Nat looked back and forth between them—Duke slowly ripping pickup lines off their toilet paper, piling a ragged handful of them on Nat’s lap, and Nat stuck on the toilet with a ridiculous amount of TP unrolled in his hands.
He couldn’t help it. He giggled.
Duke narrowed his eyes. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s our first anniversary,” Nat laughed, tears streaming down his cheeks. “And you’re peeling pickup lines off the TP for me.”
Duke rolled his eyes. “Unless you need it urgently, I’m not putting on clothes just to get out there to hunt down toilet paper that may or may not be similarly compromised.”
“It’s all like that,” Hubrie yelled gleefully.
Nat groaned. He slowly pieced together the toilet paper and tried to wipe himself clean.
“We made breakfast for you!” Teddy and Mallie yelled through the bedroom door. “Don’t be angry!”
Nat and Duke stared at each other.
“Did they… help?” Nat asked.
Duke snorted. “Apparently so.”
Nat groaned into his handful of pickup lines.
“Happy anniversary,” Duke said, his mouth twitching into a smile.
“Happy anniversary,” Nat said when he could finally flush the toilet and forget that had ever happened.
Duke brought him back to the bed, where they went on to make love amongst rose petals and shiny pink glitter dicks.
–
If you haven’t read Demon Boss’ Baby Load, grab it here!
https://mybook.to/demonboss
Also, if you were curious about Duke’s brother Onyx and his wolf shifter omega, check out How to Hide Your Wolf Cub!
The police officer Blade (Raptor and Ace’s brother) and his omega (with the baby stolen from kidnappers) have their HEA in How to Rescue Your Stolen Baby
And… if you need way too many cringey pickup lines, Dicky Mems, and a ridiculous wild ride, that can be found in A Daddy for the Stowaway Omega