Anna Wineheart Books

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The Secret Peens

Hassel snickered to himself as he prodded the palm-sized cocks, each of them standing erect with their own wrinkly balls, and a tiny pair of feet under their balls that allowed them to shuffle around.

“How are they doing?” Harvey asked, popping up quietly next to Hassel. He visited so often that Hassel wasn’t surprised by his presence—especially with sharp hearing like theirs.

“Give them a few more weeks, and I think they might start singing,” Hassel whispered back.

“Sweet. This is a brilliant place to hide them.”

Hassel had fashioned a large hole in the back of Raptor’s living room couch, that Raptor still wasn’t aware of. Granted, the cocks’ hidey hole was a carefully concealed door, which flipped open to become a table that the cocks could come out to play on.

A few times, Chef Master had almost caught Hassel with his hands on his unmentionables, but that was because he couldn’t stop touching them. They were so adorable!

The little dicks shuffled around blindly and bumped into each other, bending slightly so they could sniff at each other with their tips.

“Do you think they’ll grow hairs soon?” Hassel’s brother asked.

“I don’t know, I’m thinking up some projection necklaces that they can wear. Imagine these little fuckers beaming pickup lines everywhere! You’d have to catch them to make them stop, and they will be quick on their lil feet.” Hassel cackled.

Harvey lit up in delight. “Have you made them fireproof?”

“Oooh, not yet. Good idea.” Hassel sent a text to Uriel. Then he sent another text, because someone had to make those necklaces. In fact, Uriel was the one who had charmed the cocks to make them come alive.

Harvey pulled out a feather, tickling one of the cocks. It shuddered like it was silently laughing. With a sudden spasm, white fluid squirted out of its tip.

“Hey, I have to feed them extra when they jizz,” Hassel protested.

Harvey gave him a sly look. “But imagine if you can make them jizz on command, to a tune. Like sound-based mood lighting, but instead you’ll have sound-based jizz squirting!”

Hassel’s eyes grew round. He pulled his phone back out. “Uriel, I have another job for you.”

***

“Walry-babe, there’s something we should talk about.”

Walren looked over at Raptor, who was lying back in their bed with his legs hanging off the edge of the mattress, his arms tucked behind his head.

“Did I do something wrong?” Walren asked warily.

Raptor blinked in surprise. “Oh! No, this isn’t that kind of conversation. Sorry. I meant… Since we’re now bonded, you do know that half of everything I own is also yours, right?”

“That… That just broke my brain a lot,” Walren said. “I can’t begin to imagine how much you own.”

Raptor waved dismissively. “We’ll go over that another day. Right now my focus is on something else.”

“What?”

The alpha took a deep breath. “My hoard.”

The dildos. Or rather, the countless dildos covered in sock puppets. “O…kay?”

“What should I do with them? You’ve said yourself that the sock puppets creep you out. But they’re just hiding the problem. Should I… move the cocks elsewhere? Sell them? Donate them?”

Walren frowned deeply. “But that’s your hoard!”

“And I don’t want to deeply scar you or the babies!”

Walren chewed on his lip. “But you spent so much time and money collecting them! And the children won’t stay babies forever. They’ll grow up, and someday they’ll leave the lair.”

Raptor rubbed his chin. “That is true. Are you suggesting I build a temporary shed and store them all in there?”

“We could just switch out the sock puppets,” Walren said. “Cover them with something that the kids won’t want to grab. Something not colorful.”

“So… fake rocks?”

Walren imagined a thousand fake rocks in and around the mansion, and giggled. “Someone is bound to get curious about them. What if we make a distraction? Like… vines growing on top of the fake rocks?”

“Flowering vines,” Raptor said. “They’ll be so busy eating the flowers, they won’t even realize there are fake rocks under there.”

“When the youngest is eighteen, we’ll remove the fake rocks and have the vines grow on the dildos themselves,” Walren suggested. “See how long they take to notice.”

Raptor purred and rolled on top of Walren, caging him against the bed. “Yes. I like that idea a lot.” He gave Walren several deep kisses. “This is why you’re my mate, sweetheart.”

***

Hassel and Harvey were both there when Walren and Raptor began the task of swapping out all the sock puppets. Both butlers were watching them keenly. Too keenly.

“Doesn’t my twin have tasks for you, Harvey?” Raptor asked suspiciously.

“Nope! Besides, I can guard his territory just fine from here.” Harvey wriggled his fingers around his ears. “Aren’t you going to swap out the puppets?”

Raptor eyed the butlers. He pulled off the first sock puppet, throwing it into a large trash bag Walren held out.

Then he pulled off a second sock puppet, and a third.

Before he grasped the sock puppet at the very end, it wriggled.

Raptor paused. Walren stared.

“Did I just imagine that?” Raptor said. Then he reached for the dildo again, and it wriggled harder. Raptor shrieked.

He grabbed the sock puppet and dildo around its middle.

It wriggled more furiously. And began to sing in a high, squeaky voice.

“He picks peen shells off the peen floor! Peter Peener picked a pack of purple peenies! How many peens can a peen-chucker chuck if a peen-chucker could chuck peen?”

Walren listened in horror. Raptor’s eyes grew wide. He carefully shifted his hand to the base of the dildo and yanked off its sock puppet cover, only to find a flesh-colored silicone cock with its slit opening and closing as it sang.

“Oh gods,” Walren whispered.

“This is adorable,” Raptor cried, cradling it with both hands and lifting it high into the air like a prize. “Are there more?!”

“Yes!” Hassel replied with a twirl. “Now you get to find them all!”

Raptor strapped the singing, wriggling cock to the top of his head. He strapped the next one to his chest, between his pecs. The next one went into his pants with his cock, and the next two sat proudly on his asscheeks.

The butlers had a great time taking photos and sending them to all their friends. They also took pictures of Walren’s horrified face and sent those, too.

“You should start putting these in my friends’ sock drawers,” Raptor whispered. “Oh! No. Wait. You should put them in their toy drawers. So they’ll fumble during play time and reach into their toy drawer… and grab one of these. Only to have it start wriggling and singing.”

Hassel and Harvey both lit up with growing excitement.

“Oh gods,” Walren whispered. “You’d get into so much trouble.”

“Not if it isn’t us doing it!” The butler brothers held hands and flounced off, their smiles so wide that Walren could only feel sorry for his friends.

***

Outtake 1

Duke kissed Nat deeply, grinding against his cock while his fingers(—)tucked under Nat(—)slid into Nat’s hole and stretched him there. “So ready for me, sweetheart.”

He massaged Nat until Nat gasped, squirming and clawing at his back.

“P-please,” Nat whimpered.

His own cock aching, Duke slid his fingers out, reaching into the nightstand for that curved vibrator Nat loved so much.

He wasn’t looking, though. He was too distracted by Nat’s beautiful face, his fingers fumbling over the various shapes…

His fingers bumped into something soft and smooth. The next moment, it began to wriggle.

“What the fuck,” Duke hissed, snatching his hand back. He lunged for the edge of the bed, peering down at the toy drawer…

Only to find two flesh-colored wriggling cocks.

They wore some kind of cock ring at their bases, with a tiny round pendant that beamed something into the air.

High above the bed, words appeared in glittering cursive script:

“My cock and your cock are the slippery snakes of the jungle. They rise through the thick, sweaty bushes and drool all over each other in the universal sign of breeding. This means our souls are penetrating each other like sentient algae about to rob each other of their DNA.”

The wriggling cocks squeakily sang every single one of those terrible words. The moment they stopped singing, they shot white fluid out of the drawer and onto the bedroom floor. Then they began singing again, but this time they spat jizz out on every other word, like a musical fountain.

“What just happened?” Nat whimpered, pulling a pillow over his head.

“Hubrie,” Duke bellowed.

Several rooms away, Hubrie cackled.

***

Outtake 2

(Several years after the epilogue)

The siblings arrived in pairs, each set pulling up in a car, save for Zebs, who drove his own.

“Am I seeing what I’m seeing?” Matilda asked, looking around with a frown.

All around, the stone sculptures were… gone? Replaced by colorful statues of cocks that Zebs had not seen before.

“Nope, you’re seeing the dicks,” he said, looking around at the rows of dildos surrounding the courtyard and driveway. “I don’t get it. What’s with this sudden obsession with dildos?”

A loud laugh came from the front doors. “Oh, children.”

Papa and Daddy stood together at the top of the front steps, both of them looking very amused. Every set of twins looked perplexed.

“Come on in,” Papa said, waving them through the door.

As Zebs stepped into the foyer he was so familiar with, he could only stare at the colorful shapes under the green vines that had been there ever since he was a child. “Did you both have a mid-life crisis?”

Daddy snorted. “No, we just reverted the decorations to what they were before all of you dragonets arrived.”

Everyone stared. “You can’t be serious,” Tony said.

Papa nodded. “Very serious. Hassel can show you pictures, if you need proof.”

“I have so many pictures,” Hassel crowed. “Including some you’d rather not see.”

“But these are… dildos,” Peter said weakly.

“Yup,” Papa replied, unruffled.

“I think I’ll need special glasses,” Delilah said weakly. “To block out all the dicks whenever I come here.”

“I want a pair too,” her twin Matilda said. Everyone else agreed with this sentiment.

“I was more than three hundred years old when you all were born! What do you think I was doing then?” Papa said, pretending to be offended.

“I don’t know, eating grass,” Peter mumbled.

“Nope! That’s your Daddy.”

They were all heading into the dining room when several little voices burst into song along the hallway. When Zebbie looked up, he found two rows of flesh-colored dildos surrounding them.

They had squeaky voices. And they were dancing.

Zebs was horrified.

“I had to break them out for a trip down memory lane,” Hassel said, pretending to wipe a tear. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“No,” Zebs and his siblings groaned.

***

If you haven’t read Alpha Dragon’s Mating Contract, find it here: https://mybook.to/MatingContract
Here’s a list of books for the characters who appeared in Alpha Dragon’s Mating Contract:

•  Ace (Raptor’s twin) & Ivo (The Accidental Dragon Baby)
• Blade & Joey (How to Hide Your Stolen Baby)